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Be aware that many profiles are fake, set up by scammers eager to work their way into your pocketbook. You can avoid scammers by looking for inconsistencies in a profile, taking it slow and asking lots of questions.

There are plenty of people out there, and a small percentage of them would be suitable matches. The vast majority are not.

It feels a bit hopeless at times and you can easily feel undesirable. Rather than trying to be an all around appealing woman, put the real you out there.

Show your uniqueness, be off-beat or traditional or whoever you are in real life. It can be tempting to make yourself more appealing by letting the guy lead the way in dating.

Our conditioning leads us to silence ourselves just a little; your eagerness to meet this guy might lead you to forget that your wants and needs are important.

So practice asking for what you want. Demand to have a phone conversation before meeting, from a blocked phone number. Demand to set the first date at a place that feels comfortable for you.

Demand a conversation about sex before you take those steps, talking about STDs and your needs. If he balks or disappears, consider yourself fortunate to have learned about his character so quickly.

Your job is to put the real you out there, to stay true to what you want and who you are while being open to meeting new people. Whether you find that activity partner, friend, or lover you will meet some new people during your experience.

Valuable information. Any recommendations on senior dating websites for progressives? I was not successful with eharmony. Shelley, Thank you. Their system uses questions that users can answer which help to give you a better sense of what someone is thinking.

Stitch is also a very good site and better for people living in bigger metropolitan areas than rural users. There are a lot of wonderful people online.

I met one. We have been together 11 years now. She jokingly says that we met on stalker. However, some comments are not welcome here as violations of our Comment Policy.

Get our newsletters to make sure you never miss a thing! Become a Member. By Walker Thornton Friday, February 9 3 Comments Share This: Millions of people of all ages use online dating sites, and many have found love or friendship that way.

Be honest and realistic about the details you reveal. Talk about what you like to do and read and watch. Display your most recent photo, not the one from three years ago.

But the thrill of interacting with new people and the excitement of courtship can lead us to move a little too fast and increase our risk of making bad choices.

So can yielding to a potential date who wants to move faster than we do. Suggest an email or two and then a phone call.

Be aware that many profiles are fake, set up by scammers eager to work their way into your pocketbook.

You can avoid scammers by looking for inconsistencies in a profile, taking it slow and asking lots of questions. There are plenty of people out there, and a small percentage of them would be suitable matches.

The vast majority are not. It feels a bit hopeless at times and you can easily feel undesirable. Rather than trying to be an all around appealing woman, put the real you out there.

Show your uniqueness, be off-beat or traditional or whoever you are in real life. It can be tempting to make yourself more appealing by letting the guy lead the way in dating.

Our conditioning leads us to silence ourselves just a little; your eagerness to meet this guy might lead you to forget that your wants and needs are important.

So practice asking for what you want. Demand to have a phone conversation before meeting, from a blocked phone number. Demand to set the first date at a place that feels comfortable for you.

Demand a conversation about sex before you take those steps, talking about STDs and your needs. If he balks or disappears, consider yourself fortunate to have learned about his character so quickly.

Your job is to put the real you out there, to stay true to what you want and who you are while being open to meeting new people.

Whether you find that activity partner, friend, or lover you will meet some new people during your experience. Senior Planet Member Darlene will lead a lecture on…online dating.

This is sure to be a hot ticket, and RSVP is required. I am 79 and in a position that is difficult in many ways. Been widowed for 11 years, living on my own and wanting to find a lady on a FwB basis..

On top of that, and more disturbing, is I have just been diagnosed with early stage dementia which carries a prognosis of between 6 and 9 years.

Neither of these cause me distress and I am content with the knowledge. Is it fair to ask a lady to risk getting emotionaly involved under these circumstances.

I have not had sex with my wife in over 15 years. My wife is not able to have sex. I love her and never want to hurt her. I need to share sexual gratification with one woman once and hopefully more than once to satisfy our sexual needs and desires.

I have average looks. How can I find a woman to share with? Sincerely, Neil. Hello, I am a 61 yr old man in very good physical and mental capacity.

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Sure, you bring experience, authority and stability to the relationship, which is an undeniable allure for her. But building a passionate relationship with a younger woman means being able to honor the way she brings vitality in your life.

Online dating can be a real safe haven for an older man younger woman relationship. Instead of seeking from a place of desperation, on EliteSingles people are looking from a place of ease, passion and mutual love.

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You can meet men from all walks of life that you may not have had the chance to encounter otherwise and form a lasting connection. Ready for some butterflies?

Join us today! See more articles written by EliteSingles Editorial. Get started. Dating Older Men. I am: Please indicate your gender. I am looking for: Are you looking for a man or a woman?

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My data is collected pursuant to the Privacy Policy. Be prepared to be swept off your feet! Have you ever experienced dating older men? Seeking from a place of love Online dating can be a real safe haven for an older man younger woman relationship.

A serious site for serious relationships EliteSingles has such a high success rate because we do the hard work for you. Read also: Looking for Millionaire dating?

More articles Worst first dates ever! Try us Struggling to meet Philadelphia singles? Are you using Daily Matches? Are you adding men to your favorites list?

Are you putting in a half hour a day? All you can do is change your mindset and approach to the dating process and let the chips fall where they may.

Great timing for this post as my 54th birthday looms up next month. I agree with everything Evan says and based on your advice Evan Ive tweaked my profile with your suggestions e.

Most importantly I agree your photos have to be great. I chose to adjust my age down a few years since I was being eliminated by what seems like half the men my age when I put my real age.

They have told me of their frustration with lack of responses. What interesting is that younger guys early 40s vs those my own age seem more interested.

I tried it for about 6 months once years ago and found it to be a time consuming wasted effort for the most part.

I put that time into persuing what I love to do and enrich my life. I have a wonderful career and enjoy playing music part time.

I am happier now then ever before, and more women come into my life because of that success. Is it to inform us that you have broken free of the shackles created by a mindset that external forces dictate happiness?

Is it an achievement of some objective? I read it as sharing his experience. Do you honestly think people should only come here to praise what you want praised?

What an odd odd way to look at the world. I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a catch.

As a result I am very busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who have written back and no actual dates.

I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Just to check I wrote to quite older women and less attractive than myself.

Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every woman. Tried all sorts of pictures. When I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated.

The only dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls.

Really out to sea on all of this — so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago. To be honest am grateful in a way. I think a large part of my motivation is just to feel like I am still attractive to women.

Women are probably able to see through me on that. For example, a balding man may still be considered good looking by a lot of women, whereas a woman with thinning hair would not be considered beautiful by most people, never mind men.

In which case, in the age of the internet, you would be at a disadvantage. While Evan is a proponent of the internet, I believe he met his wife via setup by friends.

So you might want to ask your friends to set you up. Or it could simply be the way you dress, style your hair, etc. You might need to ask some gal-friends to give you advice on whether you need a physical makeover of some kind wardrobe as well as hair.

Be yourself. Women dislike that the same way men dislike insecurity in women. We prefer authenticity, even if that is more rough around the edges than a guy who tries too hard to please.

We met at a party — even though we were both on Match at the same time. That says far more about our limiting search criteria her: no Jewish guys, me: no older women than it does about online dating itself.

Thanks for the sympathy. Not balding, have full head of hair with gray at the temples, and women do flirt with me quite a bit.

Have had a number of friends with fashion sense help dress me. Perhaps my problem is a tendency to be very friendly and helpful and smile all the time.

Have been told I come off like a goofy kid, a bit hyper. Women adopt me like I am their little brother or their kid or their gay friend or maybe their uncle.

They mean well but I actually experience that as disempowering. Actually there is one woman I want to be with.

She will be back in town in a year and she likes me, but timing, geography etc. Friends are telling me to play the field and not be so serious, and so I am just trying to put myself out there to get some confidence.

Actually KE, that must be it. That kind of language steers me away but for many guys this would simultaneously turn them off a relationship while communicating to them how they need to lie in order to get what they want.

Most men my age that I talk to are very gun shy about loosing their freedom they are fairly emotionally bruised by past relationships.

At the same time not having sex feels lousy and is hard to put up with. But of course they are. They only show interest in men their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them.

Pardon me but your statement makes little sense, John. People too fickle in online dating sites. What a crock! My point in my earlier comment is valid in many cases though.

Sure, I find women who are younger than me not too much younger more attractive — on balance. As a 72 yr old male looking for a companion around my age, I recently joined one of the top rated sites but am frustrated by the number of yr old ladies that keep contacting me.

Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. But there are ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a man that he wants in the context of dating and relationships.

This is not good marketing. Men offer stability, security and love. A true man in the traditional sense will meet the needs of a woman be it sexual, emotional or financial.

Its built into us to protect and to provide. I think you are biased in your opinion. It is not about marketing as much as it is about compatability…something you never spoke of.

You can market all you want and get a bad product. Be thoughtful Men are not gatekeepers to commitment.

Men are men.. Trusebreakers, unfaithful and such is life. When I say men I mean humanity. Entirely too many profiles of both genders do not take the audience into account.

Sadly, many of the ones that DO offer a lot are scammers. But that is a different problem. Women flooded with mail have no choice but to say no to someone hiding behind a list of demands.

Also sick of hearing women have to do this or that to get a man, every age group gets it, what am I getting exactly? You want women to open up and put themselves at risk and for women meeting strangers who use dating sites to narrow down candidates, or is that prey, the risks are significant and potentially deadly then you need to lead by example with an open profile yourself, transparency and taking things at an intensity and pace that makes her feel like she can trust you.

Beside sexual favors… just kidding….. Im in sales and you are right Its all about marketing to fill a need. My advice besides the review and polishing Evan recommends, is to try some of the senior dating sites.

Try some other sites do the real life activities where you can meet new people etc. Misha—Totally agree about choosing another website.

I tried match. Something about paying those few dollars a month seems to make men feel entitled to babes no older than I think we all feel this way.

Julia you are correct. I am 35 and I will not date a woman who is not in her early to mid 20s. I hope this doesnt offend you.

Jordan speaks truthfully. How times have changed. In the two cases, i am always surprised. I mean I could be the mother to one group and the daughter of the second.

I would never berate you for your choices. We live in a free world and can do anything we want. But please consider that there are very very nice women who you are automatically eliminating with this mindset, which oddly enough is based on the same prejudice that you are disparaging.

Women in their thirties are great. We love life. We live life. Interesting, just reading this response now. Its funny, as I got slightly older 32 I had more men in their early 30s messaging me, might just be that I improved my profile and pictures.

Now I am marrying a man 7 years older than me. Incredible, so many of these responses are proving out my experience which is that both genders are capable of wild generalizations.

As a pretty attractive 56 year old woman, fit, great job I have concluded, as some of you, that the only good way to meet men my age is in real life.

If you are attractive and fit, you are either shooting above your SMV or doing something wrong online. I am a year older than you. If I date within an acceptable age range, I pretty much have my choice of women on dating sites I dated over women in a little under 2.

Yet, my current girlfriend is four years older than me. Because she neither looks or acts her age. The reality is that men are interested in women who are warm, fun, flirty, and affectionate.

Those qualities are difficult, but not impossible to pull off in a profile. My current girlfriend stated that she was into guitarists and guitar-oriented music in her profile.

I have played lead and rhythm guitar off and on since I was 15 years old. I was looking for a woman to whom I was attracted, who shared my values, and who was into music in a big way, and I found one.

It took me a while to wrap my head around dating an older woman and a grandmother of young children at that my children in college , but I kept thinking about what Evan writes about judging the relationship and not the person.

I have never had a relationship with a woman that I physically desired that was this easy. Whether or not it will stay this way is to be determined.

By the way, my girlfriend is an executive at a large corporation; therefore, she is very successful. However, that never factored in my desire to be with her because she did not tell me until she was comfortable with the relationship.

The reality is that men are not wired to be impressed by status. If anything, a woman having too much status can be turnoff for men because they know that status is important to women.

Most of us just desire a woman to whom we are attracted who will not be a financial sink. We desire the things that we cannot obtain from our male friends from our partner.

You are still young. Older men have more to offer. Younger men are stil trying to find themselves. Consider yourself fortunate.

I met my now fiance, 2 years younger, on-line last year on OKCupid. Venture onto some other sites, be patient, do the work.

I am part of the I find Match. I am sixty one. I always have photos that are current. I just joined match again about 2 weeks ago and within that time I have been winked at 40 times, 6 of those from real people, I think, and the 36 from men who disappear in 3 days.

I have received at least 10 emails from men saying contact me at blablabla. I also find them men are looking for women or more years younger.

I find it interesting that a lot of these men have pictures of themselves that are younger, some even post photos from High School. I have a lot to offer by the way in terms of what I bring to a relationship.

I tried an experiment once and lowered my age to see what would happen and I did have more men viewing my profile and connected with a man who joined me for lunch.

I concur that I am at a disadvantage because of my age when it comes to online dating. It is as though once you reach 60 your in a category that no one explores unless they are well over 70 or a fake profile.

Been there, done that. Many of us take very good care of the body we have. I found that almost all of the men on Match. I am so over it.

Sad lesson learned. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a much younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me.

Why would we want to marry someone that is sexually inactive or will leave us a widow for twenty years?

What makes the most sense is for women to marry a man five years younger so that they die approximately the same time.

It is pretty selfish to marry someone much younger and leave them a widow er for decades. Listen to Debby: she knows…. I would never pay a dating site again.

I have the same observation. Certainly a man can gather much about a woman from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from poor matches that they become exasperated and begin to set boundaries; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption , and suggests perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal.

Perhaps women are used to being pursued. Clearly men can often behave the same way, just wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is that most people just blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.

Its difficult to list what we have to offer without coming across as being arrogant or bragging. A well written profile should demonstrate those things without being obvious.

And men should still be the pursuers. Katelyn—Any man who tries in the first email to rush you off a dating website to communicate privately by text and yahoo email is a scammer who knows his profile is likely to be deleted shortly.

Flag and move on. I tried Match. I was It was a huge waste of time. How many of these women get dating offers at this age anyway?

Online dating is overrated. Women 50 plus complain a lot about men their age rejecting them. My experience was —they reject men their age very fast.

I live in Houston, and the dating pool is pretty bad in general at every age. They usually have adult children also.

It would be tough for me to blend easily into their lives. Time to go overseas. Tell us more! Even when I was younger, 20—30s, I found dating very hard.

My brother married a girl from Thailand. He was over 40 when he married. I handled many divorce cases as a paralegal. Marriage is very risky in America today for men.

Be careful of your judgment of others. Overseas is not the answer. Just watch that overseas tv show and see the hideous problem with culture, duping, trickery,finance, etc.

You can do it herein your neighborhood if you target what you like to do and do it, be friendly with who is there. Go to a church or class even though that sounds hokey; or go up to someone in the grocery store and ask a dumb question.

Smile at everyone. Online is not the end all be all solution. Put in the time and action. Dated primarily younger men, and sometimes much younger men 17, 22 years!

The funny thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. Shaved off quite a few years too girls!

What helped is I have a killer figure thin, but curves, 36D and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery but nothing below the waist til recently coolsculpting which I recommend.

Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a problem frankly. But I am NOT botoxed to death.

I am also not obsessed with my appearance, just have the time, money and desire to tweak things when I can, but only every years on average.

Think of the serving action, but I digress. Like Andrew proposes I also had a profile that clearly showcased my caring, intuitive, sweet side.

My good nature, etc. I only threw in a few caveats about players and Bible thumpers no to both. No, you just have to LIE, pure and simple.

Uh, they married why? But to return to this thread…. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo.

Am ok with my solitude now. Crave it actually bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles.

We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though.

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