Lesbian connect

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Lesbian connect

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Lesbians adore Lex, a queer dating app and social network for lesbian, bisexual, trans, genderqueer, intersex, two spirit, asexual, and queer people — basically anyone who's not a cisgender man.

If you're used to apps like Tinder and Bumble, Lex might look a little different because the app has ditched swipes in favor of more classified-type ads where users can write up a description of who they are and what they are looking for and Craigslist-like missed connections.

SCISSR describes itself as offering "a community for lesbians, bisexuals, nonbinary folks, and other queer womxn desiring to increase their connections with other amazing queer individuals who are wanting romance, friendship, conversation, and even networking.

A post shared by zoeapp zoegirlsapp on Jul 22, at am PDT. According to many lesbians on social media, Zoe is a great app to meet local womxn and queer folks worldwide.

The social networking and dating app is available for iOS and Android and boasts over 3. While building out your profile, Zoe will ask you questions about yourself so that she can better match you with other queers.

As Go Mag writes, "Zoe is a personality, not just an app. Think of her as the lesbian version of Siri or Alexa. View this post on Instagram.

But when he looked at her quizzically, she says the full realisation of who she is hit her. I am a lesbian, Leila told herself.

But she still hoped there would be a way out of it. She prayed. She meditated. She became angry with herself.

You have the moment when you realise that there is no going back. This is you. You are gay. Your plans and expectations for what you thought life would be need to adjust.

Then there is the second coming out, the public coming out, to the people around you. When she came out to herself, Leila began to look for other gay people.

She doubted there would be women like her in Burundi, but she searched videos on Facebook and YouTube seeking lesbians in other countries.

Initially her mother took it badly. But as the days passed she began to ask more questions. The family agreed that as a lesbian woman in Burundi, Leila was already in a vulnerable position.

They could protect her while she was in the family home, but they could not guarantee her safety outside if the wrong people found out.

There was a shorthand, a recognition. You become an expert in body language, eye contact. A meme we may have picked up from somewhere else, or a coded phrase.

Nothing that anyone else outside the lesbian community would ever be able to pick up on. Leila, Niya - and later Nella - formed a community.

Some have support from their families. A few are married with children. No-one is openly out. Burundi is well known in the Great Lakes for its vibrant nightlife.

Bujumbura has fewer than , inhabitants, but maintains a vivid youth culture. The city, with its colonial-era Art Deco buildings surrounding a market, a football stadium and places of worship, sits on the shores of Lake Tanganyika.

The country has been home to bouts of conflict since independence in But today, for many young people enjoying the nightlife in Bujumbura, those tensions feel another lifetime away.

Tourists from neighbouring Rwanda, Tanzania and the Democratic Republic of Congo can be found enjoying the nightlife in the clubs or the five-star hotel bars.

Leila, Niya, Nella and their friends would often meet at these places. In , the government signed into law a new criminal code penalising same-sex relations between consenting adults.

The BBC has spoken to dozens. There is little data, and there has been no large-scale collection of testimony, so it is almost impossible to get an accurate picture of their lives.

US government records say that a lesbian couple was arrested in but released. Other than that, little else is documented.

Nella says she heard of women being killed in rural Burundi for being gay. She also heard of a lesbian who was recently jailed in Bujumbura.

The woman, while being a lesbian, was not arrested for her sexuality - the authorities were unaware of it, she believes.

It was because the woman had retaliated against domestic abuse in her family home, and lashed out against her abuser.

Leila thinks domestic abuse in families where a woman is suspected of being lesbian or bisexual is a big cause for concern. The group has heard of abuse as a result of sexuality but it is impossible to verify.

Often women withdraw their stories for fear of what might happen to them. Many members of the group say they have experienced violence at the hands of family members who became suspicious about their sexuality.

Nella is now divorced but others in the group remain married. Their husbands are not aware of their sexuality. According to Internet World Stats only 4.

She and a few other women go out to speak to lesbian and bisexual women in the villages. They hear about them through loose local networks, both on and offline, and through friends of friends.

The secret language of lesbian love The wives, mothers and friends who hide their sexuality. The peak of the midday sun has passed.

This could be a group of friends in any park, in any country. But this is Burundi, where being who they are is against the law. Nella is wearing a hijab.

The pair met on a social networking site and the relationship is still new. A wedding was hastily arranged and Nella resigned herself to becoming a wife.

She then narrowed her search to Bujumbura. Nella took her children and moved in with relatives. Niya has just turned 27, and this is the most comfortable she has felt.

So were her friends. And that was the last time they talked about it. Niya was sure because, like Nella, she had spent a lot of time online. A jigsaw was slowly beginning to fit together.

Niya knew they must exist — it was a matter of finding them. Leila was 17 when she realised that she was in love with a female friend.

Leila thought about her all the time. She fantasised about her. It could only be love. What is happening? And now here she was, in love with a friend.

Then the friend replied. But no. He showed their mother and an emotional showdown followed. But something was wrong.

Then a male friend asked her if she didn't prefer women. But slowly, she began to come to terms with the truth.

When she was 21, she finally came out to herself. She knew she had to find the community to which she felt she belonged.

Luck and the internet. There are two ways lesbian and bisexual women find each in Bujumbura - luck and the Internet.

Leila and Niya were lucky to meet at work. When the group first formed, they mostly hung out. Being a lesbian in Burundi was not just culturally frowned upon - it was dangerous.

Dark side. Very little is known about lesbian rights in Burundi.

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